Same old days

2012-02-05T05:55:00.000-08:00

I miss your stupid smile. I miss your incessant rambles about nothing. I miss having you to hold my hands when i don't dare to cross the roads.

I miss you.

2012-01-31T07:33:00.000-08:00

愛給你我不後悔只希望你給我一次機會

讓我去追讓我去飛

畢竟愛過的心需要安慰需要你安慰

如果說擁有你是上天對我的寬容

那又何必開我這個玩笑

當你找到幸福的那天

請不要忘記

有一個人扔愛著你

2012-01-29T02:10:00.001-08:00

Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together
Whatever it takes

2012-01-28T13:16:00.000-08:00

And I'd give up forever to touch you.

2012-01-23T04:03:00.001-08:00

When I saw my dad cry today, I instinctively went to sooth him by patting him on his shoulders. And as
much as it might seemed trivial, that never happened over the past 26 years, because we were
never really close.

And when the tears rolled, it made all my problems so minute, so insignificant.

So I'll suck it in, and hold back my tears and I know the burden of taking care the family will now fall on me, regardless of all the shit I'm going through in my life from henceforth.

2012-01-20T08:36:00.000-08:00

Setbacks after setbacks after motherfucking setbacks.

Fucking sibei pek check.

Please let my business go well after chinese new year. I've already wasted three weeks of the english new year. Can't afford more.

2012-01-14T20:23:00.001-08:00

I was the cause for what you are today.

So if my pain and yearning could alleviate whatever you are going through and make you happier, then, be happy.

P.s: i apologise if it seemed to you that I'm rushing you again like I always do. The things you say were unfair, but I've learned that nothing's fair in love. I'm sorry for being selfish and not being understanding. If time is the essence, I hope time will tell.

2012-01-12T00:18:00.000-08:00

I don't know what i have done. I really don't.

2012-01-10T06:42:00.001-08:00

我可等你嗎　可等到你傷口結疤
我這種固執　不比你更差
好心地但運氣差　做壞人才耀眼
良善太過平凡　怕註定要陪跑

2012-01-08T07:33:00.000-08:00

The mind lies, but the heart never does.

2012-01-07T11:02:00.001-08:00

2011-12-31T11:42:00.000-08:00

2012.

1) Car. Swift. Integra. Lancer.

2) Dunhill wallet / briefcase

3) You. You've changed so much that i cannot recognise you anymore. I still love you. So much. Tomorrow i'll wake up and forget about you, but tonight, i wish you were here.

4) Strength. Passion. Career. To (finally) fight for the things i want in life.

5) A peaceful life away from all the hustle and bustle and all the battles in my life.

6) Never letting anyone or anything put me down again.

7) Travel around the world.

2011-12-31T04:26:00.000-08:00

Let 2012 wash away the disappointments of 2011. Let me take on greater responsibilities in life. Be braver for the things I want to fight for, and strong enough to let you go.

2011-12-28T07:16:00.000-08:00

Stay safe, have fun, be good.

Monday night was magical. Let's do it again.

2011-12-25T22:45:00.000-08:00

SG!!! -> India -> Nepal -> Bhutan -> Afghanistan -> Mongolia -> Russia -> Finland -> Denmark -> Holland -> Turkey -> Egypt -> South Africa -> Argentina -> Chile -> Brazil -> Mexico -> SG!!!

:)))))))

2011-12-25T19:36:00.001-08:00

I think i will say this with a little bit of hesistance,

but

It is time to conquer the world ( literally ).

2011-12-21T08:34:00.001-08:00

Nobody said it was easy.

2011-12-17T20:43:00.001-08:00

My vindication wavers every minute.

2011-12-15T05:54:00.000-08:00

Say hi to Papa. For the next few hours at least.

2011-12-14T07:02:00.000-08:00

There is a old saying that goes something like when you are high above everyone, you don't fucking smell the stench, the stink. The air around you just smells so much more refreshing.

I might be (again) at the bottom of my pits, and just plain fucking down and out, but i will one day soar higher than before. Because i know i can.

2011-12-14T02:19:00.000-08:00

I wish i could sing no regret and no emotional debts
Cause as we kiss goodbye the sun sets.

2011-12-12T06:12:00.000-08:00

Because i know,

tonight i'll cry once more like there's no tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'll whine like a fucking bitch.

And the day after I'll just look for another option.

Story of my life.

2011-12-07T19:40:00.001-08:00

2011-12-03T10:36:00.001-08:00

I hate the fact that I still love you so much.

2011-11-29T07:18:00.000-08:00

Go on and close the curtains
Cause all we need is candle light
You and me and a bottle of wine
Going to hold you tonight
Well we know I'm going away
And how I wish, I wish it weren't so
So take this wine and drink with me
Let's delay our misery

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

There's a log on the fire
And it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
To take me away it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye
Darling please don't start to cry
Cause girl you know I've got to go, oh
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I, that I could stay
Girl you know I've got to go, oh
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone
Tomorrow I'll be gone
Tomorrow I'll be gone
Tomorrow I'll be gone
Tomorrow I'll be gone

2011-11-27T20:50:00.001-08:00

I'll cut things to the chase. I still love you.

I'm honestly thankful things have taken for the better currently. And I know I'm selfish by nature. I don't want you to be upset, but, what is appropriate, and what is not? Do you decide then, what is, and what is not? Or am i even being too darn selfish to reason this out, because i shouldn't in the very first place?

Maybe you treat me no more than a friend right now. Everytime you speak to me about him, about the stuff you do, and about the quarrels you guys go through, I take it in, all of it, even as my heart slowly ebbs away. I am no longer the person I know I am.

P.s

Yes, I admit I'm really jealous at all the attention he is getting from you. Which i never had. And I've been a fool for letting you go. I don't want to ever live to regret again. I'll chase you. Date you. Again. I don't want you to go ever again.

2011-11-26T10:39:00.000-08:00

I miss u. So much.

And I still love you. I told myself never to think abt it again. But I
still am doing it.

2011-11-22T01:52:00.001-08:00

Like all fucking setbacks,

I'll rise up again. Watch me.

2011-11-21T18:56:00.001-08:00

Dear Guan Yin Pusa,

If i get this job, i promise not to laugh at valerie's AVP position again.

Not so much at least.

2011-11-15T07:49:00.000-08:00

When i finally snap out of poverty, and if all things are meant to be, that's where i hope you and i will be.

I'll hold your hands. And never will i let it go again.

2011-11-14T06:31:00.000-08:00

This one's for you, once more.

Hope your first day of work went well!

2011-11-07T02:25:00.000-08:00

I miss you. And i know I'll never find someone like you.

You still have the ability to break me, a little lesser though than how it was before.

Sooner than later, I'll let go.

What we had before, would then be a fraction of a mere memory, etched through the sands of time.

2011-11-04T10:15:00.001-07:00

These fingers ; they are not yours.

2011-11-03T00:18:00.000-07:00

I wish this war would just end. I really do.

2011-11-02T02:32:00.000-07:00

I don't know what is happening to you, and despite what has happened over the past week, I'm seriously fucking worried about you.

I hate you as much as you hate me now, so if you really think I cannot be of much help or you don't even want to contact me, so be it. But if you need help, i'm here.

And just for the record , and not like it changes any thing I don't ever minded you needing me when to were in shit
and needed my help, I fucking didn't appreciate the fact you used what I've done for you, against me.

2011-10-31T07:31:00.000-07:00

There were the days your messages made me smiled, unreservedly, and I knew only had the capabilty of doing so. And there were the days where your replies would make me burst out laughing, because only you could come up with such replies. And I would unconciously look back at the past - with your smile, and your pictures.
With you by my side. It was you, and me, against the world.

So how did 5 years came to this day ? I know. And how did the past week change so fast, so much so it caught me
by shock ? How did u change so much ? Was it only a wishful thinking only on my end ? Or has everything changed ? I don't even recognize you anymore.

2011-10-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

K : Do you still miss V ?

Between then, and now, haven't time slipped past us? Where were the yonder of our youth where innocence was first found? Why did i let love go? Where were the days when we once loved, and loved like there were no tomorrow?

2011-10-23T03:56:00.001-07:00

2011-10-20T09:23:00.001-07:00

This video never fails to make me tear. I mean, how amazing is it for the girl who is loved by the guy who loves him the most in world, be proposed in such a manner?

And silly me. I've thought of many many ways before to amaze you on the deciding day before, but I've lost the basic meaning of daily love, that simple love that outweighs everything. The daily intricacies, the simple things just because. And the promises made.

I still, i still want you to be my eternity.

2011-10-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

The same mistakes i made before, some more hurtful than others.

It may be too late to say I'm sorry, but I still say it, and i mean it.

Amidst going through a new relationship, I've inevitably realised I've lost the meaning of love with you, and the meaning of being loved. I took things for granted with you, and even though you joked before we were like an aging couple, I should have woken up before that.

And for that, I am sorry.

2011-10-16T01:31:00.001-07:00

我们变成了世上
最熟悉的陌生人

2011-10-16T01:21:00.000-07:00

相愛沒有那麼容易每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心所以最開心曾經

相愛沒有那麼容易

2011-10-14T18:05:00.000-07:00

2011-10-14T05:50:00.000-07:00

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them

What are words
If they're only for good times
Then their done
When it's love

Yeah, you say them out loud, those words
They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

2011-10-11T02:11:00.000-07:00

Love is more than just the feeling. Love is about fighting when you need to fight. Love is fighting for the one who's lost the will to fight. Love is respecting and never to belittle each other.

I've lost the fight, in more ways than one. But I'll still fight for you. Please don't give up on me.

2011-10-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

To the girl i've let down the most in my life,

Haven't been speaking to you in a while. I hope you are doing fine with everything in your life.

I miss you.

2011-10-08T07:56:00.001-07:00

There are a thousand things going on in the world today, and there are so many people who can make me happy, but alli can think about is you, and how irreplacable u will ever be.

2011-10-07T10:55:00.001-07:00

Love is like a drug. It brings you to new heights, but it can send you crashing down to the pits. And more often than not, how many can say they could control the addiction for love, more than they could for drugs?

I miss you now so much, it hurts.

2011-10-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

Even as I try to escape from reality, my dreams come back every night to haunt me, reminding me you're still there. The dreams are painful, but the hard truth is I love you, no matter how much I run away from it.

2011-10-03T20:32:00.000-07:00

泳:你的好你的壞
峯:我的脾氣你最懂
泳:我不要你來心疼我
峯:我不要你離開我
合:明天的以後我們會懂
失戀的挫折讓人變更成熟

2011-10-03T01:14:00.001-07:00

We were born and raised,
in this summer haze,
Bound by the surprise or our glory days.

2011-09-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

Two rainy days in a row.

Rain reminded me of how we could nevr find the perfect balance of who to shelter under the pelting rain. And the both of us would always end up being wet, and still michevosly laughing thereafter, nevertheless.

Rain reminded me how you would freeze in the cold, and how you would spring me a surprise, snug me, gave me that minnie mouse look of yours, and how i would always ask you back with yesssssssssssss. And you would always tell me that you are very very cold. And i'd always grinned like a school boy, and my heart would flutter faster than usain bolt.

You are now so far away. I know now isn't the right time and place to ask. I just pray i could meet you again.

You are my all. And i would give my life and my all. For you.

2011-09-28T16:27:00.000-07:00

There is a thousand reasons why I should go.
But there's only one reason why I want to stay.
The reason is you.

2011-09-27T01:35:00.001-07:00

Take it, take it all with you.
You'll never look back on this crumbling fool.

Even when i tried caring, i couldn't understand why you would have such a perception of me.

Thank you Valerie, for thinking so badly of me. For providing hope over and over. I crushed yours, you destroyed mine.

Laugh at what i have suffered. Get Darren to laugh at what i've written. This will be the last fucking time you'll ever get to do it.

I'm sick of what i am doing right now, i'm sick of you having to worry all the fucking shit that i do.

Take everything from me today.

I won't threaten, I won't argue anymore.

Everything ends today.

2011-09-26T23:20:00.000-07:00

Maybe woon was right. All this was done out of pity. But I'm so torn right now even my boss thinks I'm letting my emotions get into my work.

2011-09-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

I don't know how else to say it, without you being angry,

but i miss you. So much.

2011-09-25T05:36:00.000-07:00

I've learnt my mistake, but is all too late.

You said before for me to find a person who will love me the same way I love. The only person who can ever love me so much is you. No one can ever replace you.

I've lost the cause, and the good fight of faith. I don't have what's within me to be strong.

I've done what I needed to do. I 've done things I shoulnt have done, but I couldn't control myself, and I didn't know what else to do.

I hope you'll be happy always. Don't ever tell another person about the weakness a person has, because that'll break everything in him. It broke me.

No more chance for regrets again.

:)

2011-09-24T06:07:00.001-07:00

It's the same old night. That cold bleak night.

I walk on the busy saturday streets, without aim or reason. It's always the same old feelings, maybe slightly altered. I dare not walk towards where you stay, for fear of tearing, for fear of doing something stupid. Just like how i hold myself to contact you, for fear of rejection, for fear of being scolded, for fear of being intrusive towards your life. Remember how i never keep in contact with my ex girlfriends? This is the reason why.

I've blogged and cried the couple month the equivalent to the total amount of tears / blogs i've shed over the years. I've cried on thursday while talking to woon out of office. I've cried last night to sleep. When i woke up today, I cried again. I never believed in crying, and i still don't, because nothing gets resolved. But that's the only form of solace i know of to relieve myself of all the pain, and all the heartbreak.

I'm now so much an emotional wreck. I'm taking each day at a time. I ask myself sometimes the reason for living on. You told me it was selfish for me to take my own life, and to leave the pain behind. I could understand if you wanted to tell him all i told you, but why did you lie to me that Darren didnt know of my blog? why did you have to tell him of my blog? If this was the only solace i had, and you wanted me to leave you alone, why did you destroy the only form of console and solace i have? I'm really fucking fucking fucking stressed out by everything, with the break up, with my life, with returning you my loan by trying every single damm shit i know of getting money. You told me my temper is the worse of me. You don't want me to give my life away, and yet you want me to return you every cent and you don't care how i do it??? I tried to reason it out properly with you, but you have to tell me off. But you were right. You were damm right. I am NOT in your life right now. I have NO right to return you money the latest. I NEED to return you every single cent by hook or by crook.

You know Valerie, you are everything to me in my life. You were the person who stood by me silently by my shit. You were my joy. You made me laugh. You made me cry. You made me laugh when i was crying, and you made me cry when you were laughing. You made me do stupid things i couldn't even fathom I'll do on a rational day. I would be the last to say it, but love makes a person do the darnest things

I'm sorry for sounding incoherent, but let me finish ok? Going to finish liao.

You are and will always be the onlyi want to spend the rest of my life with.

I'm sorry for lying to you before, i'm sorry for making you angry. I wished i could turn back time to change all that i've done to you, but we've each lost 5 years of our time. For all the lack of courage i had to want to reflect on my temper, on loving you like i should have, I'll return everything single thing i've owed to you and to my parents over the years soon. Because then no one will ever fucking complain that i'm there to disrupt their lives, no one can ever say i've been a bad son, no one can ever say I've not loved enough, and no one can fucking see me cry ever again. My heart will never tear no more. I wished you never turned up on Monday, then i wouldn't be going through all this shit.

Because i really cannot take it anymore.

2011-09-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

Because sometimes, it takes courage to be determined.

Courage to move on. Courage to let go. Courage to start afresh. Courage to end it all.

2011-09-22T19:53:00.000-07:00

Someday we'll know.

I used to love weeknights. Friday nights. Weekends.

I dread the rest periods now. I hate the cold and still week nights, because I'll cramp up in my room, being an utter emotional wreck, crying to ease the pain. I closed the door to not let my family see, and yet i hate the bleak darkness. And i hate the weekends now, because the devil toys an empty mind. Work's an emotional, and physical reprieve.

I want to seek escape, but my heart does not want to.

2011-09-22T01:15:00.000-07:00

Why wouldn't the fucking tears stop pouring. I'm really tired.

2011-09-21T08:09:00.001-07:00

I thought i saw you and darren and the same place i usually smoke today. "you" were crying. Embracing "him". I had the utmost urge to go up to confront. But i waited elsewhere for an hour, before realising that it wasn't him and you.

I was kan chiong because i honestly did not know what happened to you. I panicked, ran back home to take my other phone because my current one didn't had your parents number stored. And i ran back like a mad person, worried.

2011-09-20T08:27:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow, I'm gonna leave here.
I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would.

2011-09-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

Thank you for everything you've done tonight. Sorry for doing shit.

You've made me realised even more the reason why i want you to be forever.

2011-09-19T05:56:00.001-07:00

All it will take, is one more spark.

2011-09-16T08:28:00.001-07:00

All your tears, and all your heartpain. I'll take it all away.

2011-09-15T07:54:00.001-07:00

Love is always about giving, never expecting. Love is about bringing out the best in an individual, and not about bringing a person down. Love is about protecting, and not over-protecting.

And i'm not about loving. I'm sorry for not seeing what love was about before.

You'll be more than alright without me. I am nothing without you.

2011-09-15T02:14:00.000-07:00

Spoilt for choices.

- BGC :

*Good commision scheme.
*Recognised company

>Raffles place
>Ra ra troops ( song singing session in the morning )
>Extremely long hours

- TBC
*Excellent working environment
*Friendly boss

>lousy commision scheme
>Doldrums ( unverified )

- MCI
*Close to home
*Excellent start up opp
*Immediate business dev
*Good commision

>Unrecognized
>New business

- Singtel
* Team leader
* Good commision

> New business
> unstable

Which should i choose?

2011-09-14T05:27:00.001-07:00

2011-09-11T07:37:00.001-07:00

2011-09-11T07:21:00.001-07:00

They say loving a person is easy, it is letting a person go that is hard.

You asked me to let you go. You have gone already.

I cannot even figure out what i am doing now, i can't even stand up strong like a man, and right now, i'm just a fucking weak nobody. I'm in no position whatsoever to even take care of myself, let alone anybody else. I can't fend for myself, i can't do fucking any shit.

I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused you, and i'm sorry we could never see the things we've done for each other.

Because sometimes, the easiest escape is the simplest way to resolve things.

Remember babe,don't let your inadequecies and lack of self - confidence cause a huddle in your life. Be strong, and fight for your own happiness. You deserve the right person to hold your heart, and to make you happy. To protect you from the storms. To hold your hand. To love you, wholeheartedly, in time of sickness, and happiness.

This will be my last post to you. I hope you find your everlasting happiness.

I love you Valerie, and will always do. Goodbye.

2011-09-10T05:16:00.000-07:00

ผมรักคุณและคิดถึงคุณมาก

2011-09-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

And you're done, working it out.
You're done, letting me drag your heart around.
Done, thinking I could ever change.

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I'll get a little bit stronger.

I miss you. So much.

2011-09-07T08:32:00.001-07:00

I've been dealt with a double blow today, and i honestly can't say i've lived to expect it. I never expected my future employment to do a surprise reference check on my current employers.

My job with central is finished, and so is my job with Search.

My world crashed down on me so bad, i felt like ending it all. I have nothing, no love, no career, no life, no friends.

I placed on my best smile, and hesitated, over and over again, to call you, to let you know, because you are the only person in the world who would care. The whole starhub issue came back to my mind, then i knew it would be pointless to call you. Because i wouldn't know what i would do, and i knew you wouldn't care. And even if you cared, you wouldn't know what to do either, because even i know fuck about what i want.

My life as i know it myself, has to be realigned and changed. The beliefs i used to carry no longer seem to hold strength in reality. My own values i used to hold a pivotal driving path don't argur well with society.

As i grew up , i used to believe in many things.

I used to be believe in fighting for the things i want. But fighting only brings repercussions.

I used to believe in helping out friends who have helped me before, even to the extend of arguing with you. Turns out nobody can really be trusted.

When i was in love, I believed in being over-protective, over-sensative, overly-protective, to the point of being obsessive. Turned out the monster in me took control.My low self esteem has caused you to be the battle ground in our relationship.

Tomorrow, life will go on as we all know.

Tonight, how i wished we were back to the days, the days we both held our hands tightly together silently, your head on my shoulders, my smile with yours, with no cares in the world.

But for tonight, i'm so brokened i wish i could die.

2011-09-05T07:44:00.001-07:00

I've got a new job offer :)

Close to home, no shitty hours, pay is reasonable.

Wished you were here to share this with me.

2011-09-01T07:28:00.000-07:00

Angels and demons

10 pm, thursday night. The comforting street lights. A week's has since passed.

I relish the every little things that you communicate to me, no matter how small, or how hurtful it might be. Because as ridiculous as it might seemed, i no longer can distinguish between nightmares and reality. I sleep every night with the same nightmare on replay, and i'll be awaken by 6am - afraid to snooze therafter, because the darkness frightens me. In reality, i'm haunted by the same fear that's inherent in me. That the very person i love the most, that i let go, that i hurt, will no longer be there for me again. I can't sleep to face my demons, and i can't wake up to face reality. I am going to be on a mental break down.

I've been blinded by your love, so much so that i've forgotten what love is. Love is about bringing out the best in a person, and nitpicking on the worst. I have had my expectations with you, and so have you.

You said before you thought we could do better. We couldn't. I couldn't. You said before you will sit and let me slide away. I will do better than what you have thought i could, and maybe we could re-write a better ending to the story we once held.

I'll never know if you are reading this, but if you are, i hope you are doing well. I'll be leaving Searchnetwork in a few weeks time ( or so i hope ) to a better prospect.

I love you.

2011-08-28T05:29:00.000-07:00

I remembered the first time i've gotten my heart broken 7 years ago, I called you tons and again. To leave messages on your voicemail, to hear your voice through the voicemail because you refused to speak to me.

7 years down, I can't call you. Not because you don't have a voicemail, but you don't want to speak to me.

So as the pain accumulates, so will my disparity for living.

2011-08-25T07:18:00.001-07:00

Ashes and Wine.

10 pm, thursday night. I see random people, random figures walking by. I hold on tightly to the only form of solace right now i know dear, my cigratte, as i type this. Because the pen flows, and more often than not, it flows poison.

You and me had this joke before about the joke of ashes and wine, whoever was the ash, and whoever was the wine. I guess I know now.

So who am i to tell you that i am feeling so much pain right now, when you have been going through this cycle with me, over the past five years. I've never thought of it from your position. And when it struck me hard this time around, I'm now nothing. Nothing to you anymore, and nothing to me. There isn't a purpose in life, and i'm just an empty skeletal.

I pour my sorrows away into my work, but even then, i can't seem to do anything. I can't seem to think straight, i can't seem to function like a normal being, and i can't seemed to do anything right.

And i cried, like i've never done so for a long time. I never believed in crying, and i still don't. I cried, because you were the best i ever had. I cried, because you were the silent moral support beside me through my life. I cried, because i know you were there, over and over again, even though i was being a fucking fool. I cried, because i knew i no longer had you.

Perharps you were right about what you told me last night. It has been a torrid waste of your five years. And perharps so again, when you told me it was never possible ever again between us.

And i'm sorry once more for bullshitting you last night, when i said i wished you well. Because i honestly don't, and i honestly can't. I only hope you'll be safe, and sound, and be protected by the people you really need to be protected by.

But i'll never give up what transpired between the five years. I'll never forget everything that you've done for me.

Maybe time's the essence. But with you, you've shown me what time really means. You've waited for me over, and over, and over again.

I'll wait for you. For however long it takes. Like how you've waited for me.

2011-07-31T06:16:00.001-07:00

what do you do when you have to decide between the lesser of two evils?

2010-11-15T06:18:00.000-08:00

I know girl that it's been hard on you,

but let's give it a try, one last try because i love you so.

You know, you know, i won't let go.

2010-10-23T02:57:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how my last post was in May.

I guess too much unneccessary repeated events have surfaced again, so much so that i don't have the time / energy to react to the way i should.

What happened yesterday was a complete mockery of what i have done for you, and how much i have changed towards you.

I'm glad to see that you've taken it negatively. I vouched over and over again never to let something like to happen, but i guess when it comes to matters like this, i fail terribly.

So let it be, i'll not be on the losing end.

2010-05-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

It is during sobriety that i am the most drunk ; And the most clearest in my worst drunk stupor.

2010-04-11T08:23:00.001-07:00

Feeling suicidal.

2009-12-29T22:49:00.001-08:00

Ai yi ge ren zhen de hao nan.

2009-11-18T06:58:00.001-08:00

yet another year has gone like a flash.

What a tumultuous year it has been. My life could be an exciting story read if it ever was published.

Resolutions not met, plausible dreams not fulfilled.

Every year remains the same ; spiralling down into the eternal darkness i have been trying to climb out of.

Every thing is a matter of perserverance and discipline ; i am without either.

2009-08-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

I amaze at how life is sometimes.

You'd never expect what you'd get, and its as though god has a surprise for every event in life.

And its amazing how alcohol is, it brings out the worse in human nature.

A blog's a private entity for the unleash of thoughts, but why is it that we mask ourselves, even when blogging?

To you, yes, we should never be together, there are too many feelings being kept, and that's the way it should be ; you were right after all. I owe you too much, too much.

And to you, I've been missing you for a thousand years, and i've been fucking keeping silent for the past thousand and one, and i cannot take it anymore.

2009-07-20T10:09:00.000-07:00

If only i have had the mentality to see beyond my juvenile years, we wouldn't have ended up this way.

2009-07-14T10:00:00.001-07:00

2009-06-18T09:15:00.001-07:00

In retrospect, i've come to realise that some things in life, or rather most things,are intertwined. The occurance of certain events are not mediated intentionally, but they were the result of a pervious chain of reactions / actions.

I've come to accept my fate in this life, and not to blame the individuals who have in one way or another affected my life ( negatively ).

I'd like to see a greener side of the road, but the path i'm tredding on is covered on uneven terrain.

2009-05-24T01:57:00.000-07:00

I used to be a docile and homely good little boy.

I wonder what happened thereafter...

2009-05-16T16:48:00.000-07:00

once upon donkey years in the jungles far away from home, i huddled myself amidst the torrential rainpour and questioned myself what i am doing - without you.

Donkey years from donkey years later i am still asking myself the same question.

2009-04-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

I am so fucking sick of people telling me how sweet a girl you were.

I am so fucking sick of people telling me how good you were to me.

I am so fucking sick of people asking me why i never treasured you.

I am so fucking sick of hypocrites wanting to slap me for me my actions.

I am so fucking sick of all this shit.

I had this coming i never doubted this.

2009-04-23T09:03:00.000-07:00

Many people come and go in my life.

Some stay. Others walk away as quickly as they arrived.

Being disillusioned about life is no longer the norm, it's an understatement.

There are many many things in the world we wished we had treasured better. But life only gives each person one chance to perform.

These familiar faces ; These familiar words

The unfamiliar concrete walls -

once held my life, and yours.

2009-04-21T09:36:00.000-07:00

2009-04-07T09:20:00.000-07:00

2009-03-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

wow the last time i updated was what... a mth back? Awefully long if you ask me...

Some good news first... I've received my UOL acceptance letter for banking and finance! Yay! Though not exactly what i or my parents would have envisioned 12 years ago, it has been quite the hurdle considering the circumstances i have been into.

Dreaming is always good. I dream of entering Business in SMU, and doing law in NUS.. but ultimately i don't really know if i can cope with the eventual workload.

I have been contemplating on what i want to do with my life. I yearned to be a lawyer in my younger age, wanted to become a rich banker like all pubescent teen, and still do.

Right now after all the legal mess i have been into, i realised how murky the legal world is. Do i really want to be a figure churning banker all my life? Or should i be a super hero fighting counsel?

I don't really know.

As silly as it sounds, i know i should heed parents advice - that is to study first, get the grades, and to contemplate my future. Something i had not been doing for the past decade of my life.

2009-03-02T09:13:00.001-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

Twenty three going on twenty one!!

2009-02-27T08:47:00.001-08:00

every day i age ten years more

2009-02-22T05:03:00.001-08:00

I CANNOT CONCENTRATE... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2009-02-12T05:09:00.000-08:00

So the same words cannot be said like before. But the same raw emotions still lingers. Somehow, i believe yours has too.

I do not know what has become of you, but i wish you well in your life.